Racist enjoyed 'Avatar'! Film at 11:00

Well, well, well. A friend of mind e-mailed me and pointed out that on the racist website Chimpout.com (Which you may remember) there was a recent thread talking about the cartoon "Legend of Korra" (A spin-off of the show Avatar the Last Airbender), and someone who mistakenly thought that the thread was talking about 'Avatar' as in James Cameron's movie made a post talking about how much they enjoyed the film and how they would rather live with Na'vi than black people.

 

 Don't take my word for it:

 

My, my, my. And I thought that supposedly everyone who hated this movie was an evil racist and that this movie's "beautiful message" made them feel "threatened", or at least, that's what avatards keep saying, so it must be true, right?

 

Oh man, am I gonna have fun linking to that thread and this pic next time some avatard starts their tired "If you don't love Avatar, you're racist!" bullshit.











 

Avatar fans: Contemptuous of all "mandkind"

Oh, Avatar forums. You da gift that keeps on giving.

Here, an Avatard calls out those filthy, miserable ignorant beings called humans. Conveniently overlooking that he is one:

All I can do is say that this whole post answers the question his (forum) avatar is asking, with a resounding yes.

Next, we hear another fellow's discuss how sorry he feels for all mandkind. No, that's not my typo:

And last but not least, it seems Eywa worship has not died out:

Keep dreaming my friend, keep dreaming.

In other news, I recently won $500 in a talent show for my performance of Rick Springfield's Jessie's Girl. Why can't life be so simple for other people?

Avatard compares the movie to the Mona Lisa

"Get a grip dumb losers"
Yeah that'll show 'em!

So much for the argument that Avatar is a simple family film that no one takes seriously:

Posters for Avatar 2, 3 and 4 revealed!

 LOL.

The Avatar Holiday Special

Sorry for lack of updates, it's just that Christmas time is party time for me. I'm watching all the classics, and the not-so-classics; like the Star Wars Holiday Special.

Just for fun, I decided to do a search for 'Avatar Holiday Special' just to see what would turn up, and lo and behold, it appears other people have joked about the same thing.

But even funnier, on the official messageboards, someone also proposed that there should be one!

'Pointless celberity cameos'? Out of character scenes? Sounds sort of like the movie that got made

Man, that's the best idea I've ever seen an Avatar fanboy propose. Too bad it would never happen since Cameron takes this crap so damn seriously. The fanboys probably wouldn't even get the joke if it was made, considering how culturally deprived most of them are. Still, it's fun to dream, and good to see Avatar fans out there with a sense of humor.

So have a Merry Christmas! Or whatever it is you celebrate!

Now that the world isn't ending it's love that I'm sending to you

Yay! The world didn't end! Now I can be around to watch the Avatar sequel when it comes out in 2015....so I can make fun of it.

Sam Worthington arrested on Election Day!

It's official, Jake Sully has been court-martialled! Seems Sammy drank a little too much.

How much you wanna bet that Avatards everywhere today are going to chalk this up to "Na'Vi opression" or some shit?, and then go protest to have him released? (even though he already has been?)

Well, so long as it keeps them out of the voting booths so they can't fuck this country up further, then that's fine with me! Then again, I shouldn't worry, Avatards don't care about real world issues unless they hear about it in a James Cameron movie anyway.

Avatard Halloween costume fail

Boo! I am your host, Count Suckula! Blaa! I have done some horrible things in my lifetime, but I can't say any of them are scarier than these costumes! So bevare, because thees ees some pretty scary stuff keeds, ha ha ha! Just keep telling yourself, no matter how shitty your costume is, it's probably better than these.

This image summons up everything I hate about Avatar. It's a supposedly anti-capitalist, anti-consumerist film, but was made by a huge corporation to make millions of dollars, and here are the Na'Vi, out shopping. One with nature indeed.

Neyfatty.

Even cool prosthetics still don't keep you from looking retarded.

"I'd fuck me"

I thought it was only us humans who were fat, and that it was causing us cancer or some shit?

Ten bucks says that's a man.

Katniss was never the same again after watching Avatar.

UGH! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go gouge my eyes out. Happy Halloween!

Avatard writes racist sci-fi novel for teens

One of the more common tactics used by avatards is to talk about how influential Avatar has been and how much it has changed the way movies are made. Other than an influx of 3D movies (which have existed since the 50s, and which were coming out so regularly that Cinemark was parodying it in their advertisements before Avatar even came out), I've failed to see the influence.

Now it seems though, that Avatar has had an influence on something, but not in in the area of film, but literature. A book recently came out called 'Saving the Pearls' involving environmental messages, the main character changing their race, and interracial romance with cat people.

It's certainly been getting attention lately. Mainly because it's a racist piece of shit. The book takes place in the future, where global warming caused by corporations has made it so that only black people can go out in the day, and have become the ruling class (seriously, that's the plot). So the heroine dyes her skin black so that she will be considered socially acceptable, and falls in love with a black dude who is also half-cat.

Also, if you were wondering what the title was referring to, it's because black people call themselves "coals", while white people are called "pearls" as a slur. If blacks were the ruling class, why would they call themselves "coals" instead of say, a more valuable black metal, like onyx? and wyh would white poeple, the minority, be named after a valuable object?

Hmmm, an attempt at fighting racism that is actually very racist itself, stupid logic, bullshit knowledge of even basic science. Sounds like Avatar to me!

And yes, that is the novel's heroine in blackface for the book's trailer.

Yes, this is a real book, and it really has been published. Just like '50 Shades of Gray' started out as a Twilight fanfic, who wants to bet that this racist bullshit started out as an Avatar fanfic? I wouldn't fucking be surprised, in fact, I'm pretty damn sure that's the case.

Remember this next time Avatards talk about how the movie has helped to combat racism and that only racist people dislike it, even though I've shown how thoroughly bullshitty that claim is.

Go here for a wonderful sporking of the book.

South Park takes Cameron down a peg

I'm a little late for this because of irl stuff, but I just watched the latest episode of South Park on their official website. Most of the show was devoted to parodying Honey Boo-Boo (a show that you just know is beloved by avatards, particularly the ones always whining about 'fat ugly americans' like the commenters in the Cracked.com article), but they had a hilarious sub-plot involving James Cameron attempting to literally "raise the bar" for entertainment.

Now, even though Cameron is technically portrayed as a hero in this episode, it also depicts him as a smug, self-righteous ass with a hero complex whose egotistical ramblings drive his henchmen crazy:

Now this is satire I can get behind. Matt anbd Trey clearly respect Cameron, but they do admit the flaws both of the man himnself and his work, and it's all done without any viciousness or slandering.

Besides, thats what my blog is for.

Knowing the avatards, it's likely they'll either completely miss the satire and think the episode is celebrating Cameron, or they'll think it's attacking him and go troll various South Park sites.

Avatar: A "Great warning for generations to come"

 I can't even make up a snarky comment for this. It's just, just...wow. This might just be the most perfect specimen of an Avatard I've ever encountered. Misanthropy, bullshit attempts to tie the film in with real world history (which in fact, trivializes the real world suffering of 'colonized' peoples), belief in aliens, elitism, and the not so subtle implication that he believes the events of the movie will really happen.

I can't help but laugh at how he's been "dying to see a movie like this". A common defense that avatards make is that they are perfectly aware of how unoriginal and done to death the story is, but that it doesn't matter to them. Yet, here we see a fan who apparently thinks this is the first ever film of it's type to have such a message. Just further proof that avatards don't know jack shit about film history (or even the history of their own "movement", which proves that they probably never cared about environmentalism before seeing the movie)

"and yes i am attacking the being called human, because that's what they are. And i am one of them, there is no escape from it".

I would give him a point for acknowledging that he can't escape what he is (unlike other avatards who think they actually are Na'Vi or can become Na'Vi), but I'd also take it away from him for referring to humans as if they were a seperate species, so no points for you!

"i hope that by the time humans are colonizing alien planets they act in our terms "human" towards the indigenous lifeforms, no matter what profit might or might not be gained."

No, us humans will simply make a profit off of them by showing them a shitty movie about how corporations and capitalism suck that was made by a corporation and made billions of dollars through the capitalist system. It's an old human tradition we call "hypocrisy" and/or "liberalism".

I'm never going to forget this post whenever I see another avatard claim that no one has taken this movie to heart.

Avatards: At war with their own feelings:

A common tactic used by Avatards when defending their favorite movie is to argue that the film, whether or not it was any good, must be considered a technical masterpiece simply because James Cameron created his own planet (yeah, I know how stupid that sounds, since pretty much anyone can create their own planet when writing fiction). Some of the more intelligent ones (and I say intelligent solely on the fact that they realize how easy it is to dream up your own planet) will argue that it's not even that which is special about Cameron creating Pandora, but that Pandora is special because Cameron thought up a whole language, culture and ecosystem and science for it. They will also say "only an intelligent mind can appreciate and comprehend such an achievement".

So basically these dipshits are arguing that liking Avatar makes you a scientific genius or an intellectual, and that anyone who dislikes the film must be an idiot who knows nothing about science.

Except that, Avatards can't even agree on the simplest basics about the 'science, culture' etc.

For example, the troll SewageMan started a thread pointing out the racial stereotypes that went into the Na'Vi, and one of the things he and his supporters cited was how the Na'Vi were portrayed as a violent, stupid warrior culture who needed a white man to unite them. This is how the Avatards responded to this accusation:

Now remember, ALL Avatards like the film because they can comprehend the brilliant, scientific world-building put into the film.

On another thread, resident superfan xy-ted, who actually HAS researched all of the science, language and other crap that the film didn't bother to go into, has this to say about the Na'Vi culture, who remember, do not fight amongst themselves according to the two idiots above:

So they DO fight amongst themselves.

This proves that yes, there ARE intelligent Avatards out there who have researched the Na'Vi culture and the "science" of the planet, etc. Not that this makes them Rhodes Scholars or anything, but it at least shows they know their shit about, well, their shit.

....And such fans are a minority whom other fans disagree with about something as simple as whether or not the Na'Vi fight amongst each other.

I don't know what's more pathetic; obsessive fanboys who have memorized every useless detail about a film, including stuff that you could only learn from bonus material that was not even in the film, or obsessive fanboys who can't get the most basic details right about their favorite movie that they will vehemently defend.

Wouldn't it be the greatest case of irony ever, if it turned out that a majority of Avatards, the same ones who make death threats against people who hate the movies, whine about being oppressed as if they were a minority, and dress up in stupid costumes for videos that they broadcast over the internet for all the world to see.....haven't even seen the film?

Avatard remakes the same thread over and over again for the course of a year:

I might have to change the name of this blog to "johnlindsey289 is mentally ill", because he just keeps popping up and up here. We've seen his fail before, but now, my esteemed colleague, "100Aliases" has shown me the depths of his madness. On IMDb, posts get ignored all the time, so it's not uncommon for someone to occasionally remake the same thread. What is uncommon is, well, just look at this shit:

Dozens of people are sick of his shit:



To add to the scare factor, Alias tells me that Johnny frequently deletes his own posts, and that he didn't include existing posts from 2010 and 2011 by Johnny that are about the same topic. Alias has been posting on IMDb under different accounts and names since the 90's, and he remembers Lindsey doing this even back then.

That's right, this shit is just a small fraction of one man's madness, with plenty left out. Alias also tells me that Lindsey's catgirl threads are even more abundant and so scary that he didn't even bother transcribing them:

Keep in mind that Alias is a big horror and comic book fan, so he doesn't frighten easily or get too angry when it comes to moronic fanboys (he actually has a recurring series on his blog about stupid Amazon reviewers), but johnlindsey289 creeps even him out.

Still think Avatards are 'normal' people?

Cracked.com commenters beat James Cameron at his own game:

Cracked.com really can surprise you once in a while. Today they showed the winning entries in a contest entitled "Deleted scenes that would make you root for the villain", and guess what #1 was?

 It's funny because it may as well be true.
Although Cracked.com commenters have never been known for their brains (it's truly amazing how little some of the commenters have actually read of the articles they respond to), they made my day with some comments that show that I'm not alone in hating the film's stuck up Mary-Sue terrorist "heroes":

 Some of them even brilliantly pointed out how that would have made the story more interesting:

This man needs to be hired by Hollywood, pronto.

 Unfortunately, the article didn't go unnoticed by lurking Avatards, who once more display their profound inability to take a joke:

 The last asshole thankfully got his:

 All in all, this whole experience doesn't display anything I didn't know, but it does show that even amongst the infamously stupid legion of illiterates, rednecks, creeps and basement dwellers that make up Cracked.com commenters, there is still more creativity, wit, ability to understand humor and popular culture, and desire for complex and morally ambiguous stories than your average Avatard is capable of. Taitano and Balticavenue17 both showed more creativity in their comments than the entire movie itself did.