Avatard compares the movie to the Mona Lisa

"Get a grip dumb losers"
Yeah that'll show 'em!

So much for the argument that Avatar is a simple family film that no one takes seriously:

Avatards: At war with their own feelings:

A common tactic used by Avatards when defending their favorite movie is to argue that the film, whether or not it was any good, must be considered a technical masterpiece simply because James Cameron created his own planet (yeah, I know how stupid that sounds, since pretty much anyone can create their own planet when writing fiction). Some of the more intelligent ones (and I say intelligent solely on the fact that they realize how easy it is to dream up your own planet) will argue that it's not even that which is special about Cameron creating Pandora, but that Pandora is special because Cameron thought up a whole language, culture and ecosystem and science for it. They will also say "only an intelligent mind can appreciate and comprehend such an achievement".

So basically these dipshits are arguing that liking Avatar makes you a scientific genius or an intellectual, and that anyone who dislikes the film must be an idiot who knows nothing about science.

Except that, Avatards can't even agree on the simplest basics about the 'science, culture' etc.

For example, the troll SewageMan started a thread pointing out the racial stereotypes that went into the Na'Vi, and one of the things he and his supporters cited was how the Na'Vi were portrayed as a violent, stupid warrior culture who needed a white man to unite them. This is how the Avatards responded to this accusation:

Now remember, ALL Avatards like the film because they can comprehend the brilliant, scientific world-building put into the film.

On another thread, resident superfan xy-ted, who actually HAS researched all of the science, language and other crap that the film didn't bother to go into, has this to say about the Na'Vi culture, who remember, do not fight amongst themselves according to the two idiots above:

So they DO fight amongst themselves.

This proves that yes, there ARE intelligent Avatards out there who have researched the Na'Vi culture and the "science" of the planet, etc. Not that this makes them Rhodes Scholars or anything, but it at least shows they know their shit about, well, their shit.

....And such fans are a minority whom other fans disagree with about something as simple as whether or not the Na'Vi fight amongst each other.

I don't know what's more pathetic; obsessive fanboys who have memorized every useless detail about a film, including stuff that you could only learn from bonus material that was not even in the film, or obsessive fanboys who can't get the most basic details right about their favorite movie that they will vehemently defend.

Wouldn't it be the greatest case of irony ever, if it turned out that a majority of Avatards, the same ones who make death threats against people who hate the movies, whine about being oppressed as if they were a minority, and dress up in stupid costumes for videos that they broadcast over the internet for all the world to see.....haven't even seen the film?

Avatard remakes the same thread over and over again for the course of a year:

I might have to change the name of this blog to "johnlindsey289 is mentally ill", because he just keeps popping up and up here. We've seen his fail before, but now, my esteemed colleague, "100Aliases" has shown me the depths of his madness. On IMDb, posts get ignored all the time, so it's not uncommon for someone to occasionally remake the same thread. What is uncommon is, well, just look at this shit:

Dozens of people are sick of his shit:



To add to the scare factor, Alias tells me that Johnny frequently deletes his own posts, and that he didn't include existing posts from 2010 and 2011 by Johnny that are about the same topic. Alias has been posting on IMDb under different accounts and names since the 90's, and he remembers Lindsey doing this even back then.

That's right, this shit is just a small fraction of one man's madness, with plenty left out. Alias also tells me that Lindsey's catgirl threads are even more abundant and so scary that he didn't even bother transcribing them:

Keep in mind that Alias is a big horror and comic book fan, so he doesn't frighten easily or get too angry when it comes to moronic fanboys (he actually has a recurring series on his blog about stupid Amazon reviewers), but johnlindsey289 creeps even him out.

Still think Avatards are 'normal' people?

Cracked.com commenters beat James Cameron at his own game:

Cracked.com really can surprise you once in a while. Today they showed the winning entries in a contest entitled "Deleted scenes that would make you root for the villain", and guess what #1 was?

 It's funny because it may as well be true.
Although Cracked.com commenters have never been known for their brains (it's truly amazing how little some of the commenters have actually read of the articles they respond to), they made my day with some comments that show that I'm not alone in hating the film's stuck up Mary-Sue terrorist "heroes":

 Some of them even brilliantly pointed out how that would have made the story more interesting:

This man needs to be hired by Hollywood, pronto.

 Unfortunately, the article didn't go unnoticed by lurking Avatards, who once more display their profound inability to take a joke:

 The last asshole thankfully got his:

 All in all, this whole experience doesn't display anything I didn't know, but it does show that even amongst the infamously stupid legion of illiterates, rednecks, creeps and basement dwellers that make up Cracked.com commenters, there is still more creativity, wit, ability to understand humor and popular culture, and desire for complex and morally ambiguous stories than your average Avatard is capable of. Taitano and Balticavenue17 both showed more creativity in their comments than the entire movie itself did.

Avatards and Race Relations: Exposing a myth

One of the great myths spread by Avatards is that Avatar was successful because it had an "anti-racist" message, and was beloved by all minorities (especially black people) and that if you dislike the film, you must automatically be some sort of white supremacist racist inbred pot-bellied redneck sharecropper KKK member from the deep south who "doesn't want to see the truth" that Avatar provides. The only minorities who dislike the film are "Uncle Toms" (a submissive, weak-willed black person who loves white people and bows down to them), supposedly.

 Except, no. That isn't true at all.

A quick search on Google images for Avatar fans shows almost exclusively white people in costume, at conventions, or attending re-releases of the film. With one exception on page 3, it is like this for more than 20 pages (which is where I stopped looking) of ALL the results you see on Google images. Furthermore, a quick search on Google for White people + Avatar immediately brings up completely negative articles regarding the film and calling it "racist", "a feel good movie for white people", "patronizing", etc. Don't take my word for it though:

 Also interestingly, that first article, "When will white people stop making movies like Avatar", isn't just one that only came up because it matched the search terms; it is actually a very widespread article which many people believe and agree with. Look at how mnay times it has been copied to other sites on the internet; clearly, it isn't just an obscure/ignored rant made up by some lone crazy person:

 However, those results don't prove anything so much as that lots of people see a racist-condescending subtext in the film. There are people out there who will read racism into anything. Broad results like this don't prove that black people love or hate the film.

 But individual bloggers do.

The person who runs Truth First, a black power blog so outspoken some have called it satire, absolutely hates the film, and considers Neytiri "a white man's perversion" of African beauty.

 Now read some of the other posts on the blog.

 Does the person who runs "Truth First" sound like an "Uncle Tom" to you?

 Next we find the forums for Assata Shakur, black panther and mother of Tupac. This place has been described by some people as the "black version of Stormfront".

 While some members liked the film, the majority of them considered it condescending and a phony "peace offering", objecting to the character of Jake Sully and saying the film would have been better off featuring the Na' Vi as the heroes. One person even laughed at the reports of suicidal fanboys.

 Do those people, who consider white people a failed mutant race who suffer from undiagnosed insanity that makes them want to conquer other races, sound like submissive Uncle Toms to you?

 I'd be very interested in seeing an Avatard try to tell these people, in person, that they are Uncle Toms because they didn't love Avatar.

 Now we come to one of the only black guys I can find online who likes Avatar, Mr. Bunche, of the Vault of Buncheness blog.

 Vault of Buncheness exclusively reviews B-movies, sci-fi movies, porn and exploitation films, so it is inevitable that Avatar would be reviewed and, compared to a lot of the crap covered there, would come out looking good. Bunche did not LOVE the film, but he enjoyed it a lot and said he would see it again.

 I think it is telling that, for a film that "all black people everywhere" love, one would have to seek out an obscure sci-fi film blogger to find a black person who actually likes the film. Keep in mind too, that Bunche did not praise the film because of it's message, he thought the film was as cliche as the haters did; he just enjoyed it because he felt it was a technically apt, entertaining film and that there was no way the story could really be fresh, so he enjoyed it for what it is. Bunche also is known for enjoying the films of John Waters, as well as comedies like Soul Plane (which is widely loathed among the broader African American community as a "modern-day minstrel show").

 Clearly, he is a very hard man to offend, thus it makes sense that he wouldn't find Avatar problematic. I am not saying I am questioning his credibility because of the films he watches, in fact, I find it admirable that he likes "trashy" movies so openly, but clearly this is a guy who couldn't care less about the film's "message".

 So ultimately, we see from just these simple results that NO, Avatar is not universally beloved by the African-American community. At best, it was mildly enjoyed by ONE blogger who doesn't even view films in terms of race, at the most moderate, it was considered a well-meaning bone toss that was still extremely problematic and that would have been better if the main character was not present at all, at worst, it is considered a perversion of African culture and lambasted for it's racist, condescending use of the "mighty whitey" trope.

 And as for racists disliking the film...

 I've long used the term "chimpout' both online and in real life to describe people who fly off the handle because of stupid shit, but I've used it increasingly less because of a racist website called Chimpout.com, which is a site devoted to comparing black people to monkeys. Chimpout.com is interesting, in that it occasionally makes good points about double standards in media and is extremely tolerant of most non-white races, but it's still a despicable hate site. So, because of my personal dislike for the site, I decided to use it as my test to see just how much "racists" really "feel threatened" by Avatar.

In brief, they weren't.

 Most of them in fact, praised the film for not having any black people play human characters, several made defenses for the film saying it was harmless entertainment, one of them even liked the character of Neytiri and said they could ignore the fact that she was voiced by a black actress, one poster even approved of Zoe Saldana's casting by saying "who better to play a non-human than a non-human?" (which is as close to a compliment as they can give). Even the most vehemently negative of the posters still praised the film as a "technological triumph" and found good things to say about the film. Some even praised the Na'Vi as being better than actual black people.

 While I can't say that they all liked the film, for a forum whose entire purpose is to demonize black people, the posters on CO all seemed fairly ambivalent about the film. Clearly, they were not "threatened" or offended by it's message, several even defended it. Even the most negative feelings towards the film were calmly delivered and not filled with rage. All in all, that being the biggest thread on CO about Avatar, it was clear that not too many people cared.

 Objectively then, I would say that, when a website second only to Stormfront in infamy that has been called "the most racist website in North America" is ambivalent at worst towards a film, sometimes supportive (if in a condescending way), then that film is probably not "making racists everywhere feel threatened".

So who are the racists and bigots who discuss Avatar?

 Using the same logic that the fans do, I can only say that most racist and bigoted people who discuss Avatar are: The Fans.

 They make N-word jokes, check out this fan's username:

 He also clearly is not simply using the name as a term of endearment towards himself, he knows he's being racist, and laughing about it. Proof? He changed his username overnight because he didn't want to get called out for it:

  They also have no problem with other forms of bigotry, such as homphobia:

 They also quote racists in their signatures:

 Yes indeed, Gandhi was a racist. He even has fans on Chimpout.

 Yes, I know that "FinalFantasy_" was just joking around, pancake-eater was just issuing a common schoolyard taunt (although it does show how immature he is), and MuchToBeGratefulFor is not quoting Gandhi because of his racism, but still, this shows their hypocrisy.

 So what does this prove? Does it prove that I'm right? No, there are exception to every rule, but it does prove several things:

 -Avatar is not terribly popular with African-Americans to any overwhelming degree, and those who do praise it either couldn't care less about it's "message" or like the message but still find the film problematic. It is DEFINITELY not universally popular with them.

-Racists (and not just any racists, but ones from one of the most infamous racist websites of all time) don't have any particular hatred for the film, most are ambivalent about it, and some even support it. They are certainly not "threatened" by it.

-Avatar fans have no problem making racist and homophobic jokes, quoting racists, and telling people how they should feel. If anyone is the bigots, it's them.





Loose brains: When Avatards become 9/11 truthers

 You knew it was just a matter of time before it turned out that Avatards were 9/11 conspiracy theorists. It's so obvious that they would be that it just kind of slips your mind. Check this shit out:

A possible voice of reason?

That's a good Avatard. Have a cookie, then go get your fucking shinebox.

I find it amazing that people will believe what some website tells them to.

So does this prove that all Avatards are scum? No, but it does prove several things:

 1) It isn't all an act. Avatards really do take themselves seriously as being "rebels" fighting the evil Joo government.

 2) Avatards lack knowledge of even the most basic scientific principles.

 3) The Avatar fans out there who actually are educated and intelligent are mocked and laughed at by the majority of the fanbase.

 4) Avatards are easily influenced by what they see in movies and websites.

 You know, let's just argue for a moment that 9/11 really was an inside job, you have to wonder what the FBI would think if I turned this all in to them...

Avatards are greedy bastards:

 Feelings of inferiority, as we've discussed, are one of the defining traits of the typical Avatar fanboy. NOTHING will satisfy these people, NOTHING. The next president could change the country's name to Pandora, or legally recognize Na'Vi as a race, and these idiots still will whine about the film being "underrated".

Now, get this, despite the film still being in the IMDb Top 500, Avatards are whining en masse about the film not being in the Top 250:

 Apparently, being in the Top 250 for 3 years (yes, the film had already made the top 250 just a day after it came out) isn't enough:

 The film remained in the Top 250 as recently as May 2012 (sadly, Wayback Machine hasn't captured 2012 yet), in fact, a troll named The_Purge devoted himself to complaining about the film's being in the top 250, celebrating whenever it would drop a notch, and he still remains, along with Sith56, Alias, Statler_and_waldorf's_account, Tarababy and YoungSmells, near the top of the Avatar IMDb board's "rogues gallery". In fact, a more recent troll named clr03f  was accused of being his sockpuppet:

 However, for argument's sake, let's discount 2009 and most of 2012. Even then, Avatar was still in the Top 250 for two straight years, and it's place there was well known and prominent enough for a troll who remains infamous to this day to base their entire gimmick off of the that., and it still is in the top 500.

 And yet, they still whine. Most fanbases would be proud to have their favorite films make the bottom of the top 250 for a few months, but two whole years (discounting 2009 and 2012) still will not satisfy Avatards. They need the excessive stimulation and reassurance, or they will go berserk.

BTW, here's an interesting link about symptoms of sociopaths, pay attention to #4. Sounds familiar, huh?

 Pray that the film never falls out of the top 500, because if it does, well, let's put it this way: Many have feared that if Trayvon Martin shooter George Zimmerman walks free, that there will be a massive scale riot similar to the Rodney King riots, both from angry minorities and cocky racists. Now, imagine a  similar riot 100x worse that has no serious social cause at it's roots, one where the rioters in question are people who fit at least one trait of a sociopath, have repeatedly stated their hatred for mankind in general, clearly suffer from severe mental problems like autism, cheer on revolutions, and who won't just be targeting white people, but people period.

 I doubt a bunch of idiot avatards could be that dangerous, but still; sane people with guns who have flipped their lids are scary enough, but people who never had their lids fully on in the first place are far scarier. 

Avatar fan cries because people don't appreciate clichés

 One of the most fascinating characteristics of Avatards is their victim complex. My friend "100Aliases", provider of many of my screenshots and comic book blogger extraordinaire (and an old pro when it comes to trolling avatards) described this phenomeon succintly in an E-mail conversation we had:

 He's right.

 Just for fun, I thought I'd star cataloguing instances of Avatards whining about the film and it's fans being "marginalized". Keep in mind, this has already been going on for a long time.

 Lo, and behold, I just hopped onto IMDb and this was one of the new topics:

The butthurt is strong with this one.

 I'll say one thing positive about these people, they rarely disappoint.

Seriously, don't these morons get it that no one gives a damn about what the film's message is? No one is "threatened" or confused" by the message, because it's the same old treehugger crap every person who has ever attended school in the past 50 years has had rammed down their throats. Tyler Perry's Madea movies supposedly deal with racism and family values, so does that make them masterpieces?

 I want to take a piano wire to these people.

Idiot thinks Eywa is real:

 Damn, and I thought those Lovecraft fans who think the Necronomicon is real were dumb.

 You just can't make this shit up.

I'm not dead!

 Get ready for another year of Avatardery (Is that even a word?)! I've been whiling away the past few months building up a collection of stupidity that is so immense I'll never run-out. So, for now, Happy New York---I mean, New Year, I mean--ah hell:

This is how your typical Avatard starts off a new year.

Avatar should have won best picture...because it was popular and in CGI

For as much fail as it churns out, in terms of "AHHH! THE HORROR!" fail, sometimes democratic underground turns out fail in terms of Troll 2-level unintentional hilarity. Like this irrefutable logic for why Avatar should have won best picture, posted by an avatard named Tommy Lent:

“Avatar”? Well, I’m not going to go too into it. For the folks who’ve said the plot was simple, well, I think they’re missing the point. Yes, the theme of the big, strong people taking over the weaker people to get what they want has been used countless times. Using an environmental theme was pretty original, but not all that “deep”.

But the whole middle section and the method of the human being able to engage the aliens was VERY original. The culture of the aliens was also very original and was the basis for many of the breathtaking visuals. The world of Pandora also caused mouths to drop. For those who say the movie was all about visual effects, I think they were just enjoying it and not paying attention to the story. And if someone says that who hasn’t even seen the movie, well, they might as well just not speak. (I have a friend who only saw the trailer and has no interest saying “It’s just a cartoon.” Duh.)

Although profits shouldn’t factor into Oscar contention at all, there’s a reason why this movie has made $2.5 billion and $700 million (and still going) domestically. It’s because people are seeing it multiple times. Yes, the prices for 3-D are inflated, but not to the point where it’s going to make this kind of money. The fact that it’s made approximately $1.8 billion INTERNATIONALLY shows that it has a universal appeal because it has a universal message.

 This guy should write a book called "How to adress why I'm wrong to look balanced, and then never adress why I'm also right". Does that sound stupid? Ye reap, Ye sow.

H.P. Lovecraft just rolled over in his grave (again):

So I was browsing Big Hollywood.com's old threads about Avatar recently, where a poster named Alexander_Hamilton quoted this little gem from an avatard named "avatarfurry"(kind of a redundant username, don'tcha think?) who posts on an avatard site called naviblue:

This is Bush's fault
I'm so glad now we are on a tract to save Mother Earth and make it like PANDORA. Only after the last Repuglicant is executed can we be free. After seeing AVATAR and going home to my parents house to pleasure myself, (to ease the depression and frustration) can I relax enough to plan my AVATAR costume. I feel if we can make AVATAR not just a dream but a reality can we advance as a culture. Only if and when we embrace Na'vi ism as a recognized philosophy or dare I say it a religion, then we will all be one people like on PANDORA. Down with the evil businesses and freedom for all, power to the people and the President, who has the wisdom to spread the wealth, so those that have too much have to give it to the poor. That is what the Na'vi do!


Nga na’viru yomtìyìng!!! FOREVER! "

 

Yeah, that's just plain scary. Even on Big Hollywood, where some of the craziest political bullshit ever written gets discussed on daily basis, they had to question if it was satire. Either way, this naviblue site sounds like a goldmine for lulz.

 This blog may not have gotten any reposnses yet, but I'm sure as hell not going to have any problem finding material for it.