Monday, May 30, 2011

Avatar should have won best picture...because it was popular and in CGI

For as much fail as it churns out, in terms of "AHHH! THE HORROR!" fail, sometimes democratic underground turns out fail in terms of Troll 2-level unintentional hilarity. Like this irrefutable logic for why Avatar should have won best picture, posted by an avatard named Tommy Lent:

“Avatar”? Well, I’m not going to go too into it. For the folks who’ve said the plot was simple, well, I think they’re missing the point. Yes, the theme of the big, strong people taking over the weaker people to get what they want has been used countless times. Using an environmental theme was pretty original, but not all that “deep”.

But the whole middle section and the method of the human being able to engage the aliens was VERY original. The culture of the aliens was also very original and was the basis for many of the breathtaking visuals. The world of Pandora also caused mouths to drop. For those who say the movie was all about visual effects, I think they were just enjoying it and not paying attention to the story. And if someone says that who hasn’t even seen the movie, well, they might as well just not speak. (I have a friend who only saw the trailer and has no interest saying “It’s just a cartoon.” Duh.)

Although profits shouldn’t factor into Oscar contention at all, there’s a reason why this movie has made $2.5 billion and $700 million (and still going) domestically. It’s because people are seeing it multiple times. Yes, the prices for 3-D are inflated, but not to the point where it’s going to make this kind of money. The fact that it’s made approximately $1.8 billion INTERNATIONALLY shows that it has a universal appeal because it has a universal message.

 This guy should write a book called "How to adress why I'm wrong to look balanced, and then never adress why I'm also right". Does that sound stupid? Ye reap, Ye sow.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Spam, spam thank you ma'am:

Apparently the weirdo I quoted from the video for the trailer on Youtube is not just your typical illiterate Youtube commenter, he's a spammer, and not only that, well, see for yourself:

This...will be...a total...MASTERPIECE. Maybe at the same level as the first movie. I can't wait anymore to see this on filmsi.co.cc!! He is my favourite director. I like this trailer too.

Wow... So mesmarizing and so beautiful. I think It's going to be the best film ever. Love both actors... It's g

 I've been grumbling about this very thing for? oh almost two years now and then this trailer came along - probably the best one I have ever seen. Incredible editing, incredible. Seeing it at sitemoovie.co.cc today.
oing to be a must see movie at filmsi.co.cc indeed... Really awsome movie and I like the trailer.

This trailer has certainly done its job, theres no way im going to miss seeing this one at the filmsi.co.cc! This director can do no wrong! Incredible trailer. Watched it with a friend who doesn't even like this director and he was moved, too.

But what we do have is Human spirit the underrated element of goodness in all humanity and this movie is celebration of it. I want to see it on filmsi.co.cc before I go. Awsome trailer...

This movie is something very very special,It's like a key to life...it shows how we should respect our family and love our children...masterpiece... I will check it at sitemoovie.co.cc later...

Magnificent trailer, director goes places nobody else even dreams of. This is my most anticipated movie ever. I will check this movie at sitemoovie.co.cc today after my job party. Good trailer too.

I wonder how it's all gonna pan out in the movie. but, hey, to each his own. but if you do decide to check out the movie at sitemoovie.co.cc, let me know if it was worth or a waste of time :)

Almost to the point where you feel as if you've already seen the movie. I saw it on sitemoovie.co.cc... I imagine that he would say that the truth of the human condition cannot be explained in rational terms, but it can be felt.

 Amazingly, these aren't all from the same spammer, but from multiple ones! I don't know what's funnier, the mangled english, the descriptions of scenes and morals that aren't even in the movie (although it's not like Avatards describing shit that doesn't actually happen in the film is uncommon), or the fact that the film has been out since 2009 and several of them are apparently still waiting for it to come out in theatres. The one who says he wonders how it will all turn out is also the same one who says he's already seen the film and that it's a "key to life". So yeah, even just one fucking spammer can't get his story straight.

 This really wouldn't be so bad in and of itself, as spammers are by nature a bunch of retards, it's really no wonder that most companies that spam tend to use bots instead of people. Hell, these aren't even the dumbest spammers I've ever seen, a fellow on IMDb called secretmoviegeek, who actually thanked me for reporting him and getting his posts nuked, certainly takes that particular cake.

 No, what makes this spamming incident special is that, whereas on any other movie board these spammers would be reported, ignored, marked as spam or at least, mocked by normal people, avatards, not being normal people by a long fucking shot, have given the spammers thumbs up and replied to them. I mean, obviously if you didn't dig too deep you wouldn't notice that one individual was a spammer, I myself made that mistake in my last Youtube-related post, but don't you think that people would notice that there's a shit ton of these posters recommending the same goddamn website? Wouldn't you get a little suspicious? Don't you think one person would be smart enough to see what's going on?

 Only avatards can't, apparently. Why am I not surprised?

 As a bit of a silver lining, enjoy this beautifully saracastic comment by a guy named SuperTruth77:

 My poor 15YO nephew lost his life due to watching Avatar in 3D.
He found the experience so immersive that real life seemed, in his words “totally LAME, just dull & boring”. In the end, he was found dead in an alleyway, his poor, broken body crushed by trying to fight a local drug-pushing gang while wearing 3D glasses.
His last Facebook post stated “With the glasses I can become Superman, I can destroy all evil- kill anything & anyone!!!”. He would have been 16 last week.

 While it's hard to tell if the guy is a fan overdescribing how "realistic" the film is by injecting some black humor, or hates it and is mocking avatards who wish the film was real, I gotta admit that was pretty funny. It's telling that his comment didn't get a single thumbs up. If this guy is a fan, it's sad that avatards can't even appreciate real wit from one of their own.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

This man will never know the love of a human woman:

From IMDb and an avatard named torukmakto4:

OK, where to start?

How about the title?

Stealing ideas and calling it original


So you assert that Cameron...

STOLE, as in plagiarized, a valid original concept (not a genre element, a generality, or an archetypal concept)

AND

called this stolen idea his own?

If you want that rather radical and severe statement to fly, you will need to back it up with three important pieces of concrete data:
1. The original idea(s) that were infringed upon.
2. Proof that the usage of this concept in Cameron's work is in fact a violation of originality, i.e. documentation of the fact that Cameron did in fact copy the idea from another specific source rather than developing it by coincidence in isolation or deriving it from the same inspirational source that also inspired the work claimed to be infringed upon. This is not going to be easy. In fact, it may not be possible.
3. Concrete proof that Cameron cited this idea as a 100% original work of his own. If he admits an inspiration, he is not calling the idea a 100% original work of his own.

Poul Anderson wrote Call Me Joe in 1957...(Cameron) called it Avatar


OK, so you mean make an unoriginality claim about Avatar based on Anderson's Call Me Joe? Let's see what evidence you have.

a story about artificial life-forms, Psionics, space exploration and complex human psychology


Alright... seeing some general similarities here, mostly sci-fi basics, broad themes, and... some dissimilarities! OOPS! Um, way to do a good job using the distillation method to make two works look similar... NOT! You are going to have to try harder, because the trolls have already come up with better-looking and more believable unoriginality arguments more than a year ago!

Let's run these point by point...

artificial life-forms


The theme of ARTIFICIAL (i.e. designed from the ground up in an intelligent manner separate from natural evolution) organisms is NOT shared with Avatar. The avatars featured in said film are genetically engineered, but they are simple modifications of natural organisms, unlike the synthetic Jovians.

If we interpret that theme in a broader sense to include all bioengineered and modified lifeforms, it becomes uselessly broad. Avatar has more in common with Jurassic Park (genetic modification to serve human purpose) than with Call Me Joe under that comparison.

Psionics


Another broad theme, a parallel to science and brain/computer interface research.

The one valid similarity under this theme is a human's remote control of an entity in a telepresence manner by means of a hardware interface.

space exploration


An incredibly general theme that appears in the majority of sci-fi.

complex human psychology


A theme that does not appear as a primary element in Avatar, although Jake's journey could represent a sort of yearning for and achievement of a higher and less constrained existence, which is one possible way to interpret both Call Me Joe and Avatar. There may be an inspirational connection, although the concept of the achievement of a higher and less constrained existence through a shift in loyalty or a massive change in the basics of one's life may also be traced back to the archetype that inspired every "turncoat protagonist" or "going native" story INCLUDING CALL ME JOE.

Since this argument of yours is almost comically sparse and general, how about I just compare Call Me Joe and Avatar at a moderate level of generality?

Call Me Joe: A disabled man, Anglesey, is involved in an effort to explore the surface of Jupiter by means of telepathic control of a synthetic lifeform, a Jovian. He faces technical problems with his link hardware that cause disconnections at an increasing rate. This is attributed to a psychological cause, possibly rejection of the circumstances by his mind. Eventually it is realized that Joe, Anglesey's Jovian "avatar" (a term NOT used by the author!) has developed an independent existence from Anglesey himself, and the cause of the link failures is the composite mind's fear of separation. Eventually, Joe's mind takes over and Anglesey's separate existence ceases, his body now dead and empty. Anglesey/Joe's character lives on as a Jovian independent of outside control.

Avatar: A corporate entity, RDA, exploits the superconductive mineral wealth of the moon Pandora at the expense of its diverse biosphere, which includes an intelligent and evolved humanoid people, the Na'vi. A paraplegic man, Jake Sully, is brought on-world through a sudden turn of events to serve as his dead brother's replacement in the Avatar Program. This is an effort to further diplomacy with the Na'vi and scientific study of Pandora through the use of human drivers remotely controlling bioengineered Na'vi avatars. Jake, through the will of the moon's biological superintelligence Eywa, soon comes upon the Omaticaya, a Na'vi clan who take him in and educate him in the Na'vi way of life. He also comes upon a love interest, Neytiri, who becomes his mentor. Jake is ordered to act as a mole for RDA against the Omaticaya, but slowly comes to understand that his new existence with the Na'vi through his avatar is superior, all the while shifting in loyalty toward his new people and coming to realize the terrible injustice of RDA's actions. When a devastating RDA attack on the Omaticaya's ancestral home becomes imminent, Jake reveals his status in a desperate attempt to convince the Omaticaya to leave peacefully. His last-ditch attempt fails and the RDA fleet attacks the Omaticaya Hometree, leveling it and killing many, Neytiri's heart is broken by Jake's disloyalty and he becomes a traitor in the eyes of both sides. Jake, having been aided by sympathetic members of the Avatar Program and science team, returns to his avatar and fulfills his destiny as the sixth Toruk Makto, unifying the clans of the area in a final stand against oppression and proving his true loyalty to Neytiri and the Omaticaya. RDA, meanwhile, responds with its own genocidal final stand for its own survival. When Jake's forces nearly lose the ensuing battle, Eywa intervenes, crushing all RDA resistance. Jake destroys an RDA bomber just before it obliterates the single most sacred site, the Tree of Souls, which is a sort of portal to Eywa. Jake and Neytiri then proceed to kill the RDA head of security in a desperate fight. The RDA presence is forced off-world, securing the future of Pandora and the Na'vi for the foreseeable future. The film ends with Jake's permanent transference by Eywa into his avatar body, marking the completion of his transformation.

Trying to identify all dissimilarities between Call Me Joe and Avatar would be terribly difficult and incredibly long-winded, because, like the case of Avatar and Dune, another written work of sci-fi that has been referenced in Avatar unoriginality claims, these two stories have very little in common. Compared to the massive landscape of differences, the similarities are tiny and insignificant.

A much more viable strategy is to identify the similarities.
Here you go:
Disabled protagonist
Telepresence in a biological surrogate/avatar
Transformation of a character into a non-human being leading a superior and less restrictive life

Everything else is generalized sci-fi genre cornerstones: space, alien worlds... and generalized turncoat plot archetype themes.

What this comparison seems to indicate is that there MAY have been an inspirational connection to Call Me Joe in the creation of Avatar. This makes PERFECT sense, since Cameron has noted (or "ADMITTED" if you prefer) that his primary inspirations for Avatar were science fiction writings that he was exposed to in his childhood.

EDIT: Including Call Me Joe!

But as to THIS...

Poul Anderson wrote Call Me Joe in 1957. Cameron called it Avatar


No. Absolutely, positively, hell no. Avatar and Call Me Joe are VERY DIFFERENT stories with VERY DIFFERENT plots, characters, themes, messages... one centers on a psychological development, the other on a conflict between societies!

Their ONLY commonalities are those few concepts I mentioned.

Sidenote: Perhaps it's an homage? Did you ever think of that? Rather nice of Cameron to give some classic and obscure sci-fi a nod in his rather, um, popular film.

and added some basic and simple liberal principles of environmentalism, anti-militarism, white-guilt, anachro-primitivism


So unoriginality isn't enough? You just have to bash EVERY ASPECT of this film in the most tired and unoriginal (*cough* hypocritical *cough*) manner possible... seriously, learn to hate creatively. Those arguments and claims are older than dirt and make me want to yawn. There are more insidious and less obvious angles of attack to use that I could at least get a laugh out of reading.

They still demand a refute, though.

liberal principles of environmentalism


Environmentalism in Avatar is not a primary message. It is a generated message consisting of a narrow interpretation of the concept of societal responsibility, which is exemplified in the Na'vi. This extends to every aspect of life and culture. Respect for the biosphere that sustains one's life is just one way that overall societal responsibility manifests in a culture.

Not to mention that partisan politics have no place in this matter. Liberalism may tend more toward developing responsible societies (or it may not, in some cases) but these principles are deeper and more fundamental than something as high level as the (American...) political motives you are getting at.

anti-militarism


Note the following:
- The enemy (RDA) forces in Avatar are CORPORATE SECURITY FORCES. MERCENARIES. HIRED GUNS. MEN WHO HAVE SOLD OUT TO MURDER IN THE NAME OF PROFIT!

They are NOT MILITARY and they do NOT REPRESENT A NATIONAL INTEREST!

- Two protagonists, one our hero, are ex-Marines.

- Protagonists uphold ideals consistent with US (and other) military doctrine throughout the film.

- The rightful side of the conflict (the Na'vi) also engage in militaristic action against the enemy's forces. The protagonists (Jake, Neytiri, Trudy...) act as military leaders among Na'vi forces.

white-guilt


This is a common attack on any "going native" type scenario: The Western protagonist is the avatar (ha!) of white guilt for past actions, or is the white messiah who saves the "inferior" and "savage" other society. An equally valid interpretation is that the protagonist's journey represents a complete transformation of the "white" man that inherently removes his "whiteness" or "Western-ness", symbolized in the plot by his adoption of a new way of life and a new loyalty against his former "guilty" fellows. You look at a shot of Jake as Toruk Makto in the final battle and you see pure Na'vi warrior, other than his Marine-ness coming through in that rather out-of-place machine gun.

But that's just subjective analysis. Whatever. Point is that white guilt is more a perception, an artifact of the viewer, than an inherent characteristic of a story.

anachro-primitivism


That is the result of a very literal and rigid interpretation of the characteristics of the protagonists, combined with a prejudiced view that defines the Na'vi as primitive. I know it's hard to think about bows and arrows NOT being "primitive", but have some respect for the fact that technology != societal value. The Na'vi have other ways of coping. Us Westerns may love our tech, but that doesn't make it the only game in town.

Then there is the fact that several protagonists are scientists! (Grace? Max?) Avatar is in actuality pro-science, upholding reason and foresight over (corporate) illogicality and ignorance. Avatar holds technology as a tool to be wielded responsibly, nothing more or less.

plus excess CGI and explosions, etc.


Not gonna debate. Tasteful use of effects is subjective.

just to appeal to the Lowest common denominator to get box office numbers


What you may not know about the history of Avatar is that it had little studio or commercial influence in the early stages. It was written in 1994 and quickly shelved because technical issues prevented its production. Cameron created it as the fulfillment of his personal creative desire.

Early on, Fox was fearful of its potential to fail. This was a similar situation to Titanic: the concept of Avatar becoming a mainstream/commercial film did not emerge until production was well under way. There were times when it was feared that it wouldn't break even, and that it might bomb terribly. Prior to the release, a certain user named sith56 made his prediction: "Avatar will be the biggest box office flop in movie history." Even today, he is mocked on the Avatar boards in "sith56 EPIC FAIL" threads.

The moment I realize AVATAR was the biggest joke played on humanity was when I watched Palestinians dressed up like Na'vis while protesting against Israel.


Why does that make it a joke? Your evidence flies in the face of everything you are trying to claim about Avatar's ineffectiveness as a portrayal of real world events! This protest deal is a case of an oppressed people at risk of losing everything to an encroaching hostile outsider. Sound familiar? I don't care whose side you are on here, there is still very real injustice at play. Similar protests and cases of Avatar inspiring resistance and unity among the threatened are well documented all across the world.

That the image of the Na'vi is such a powerful and recognized metaphor for real-world injustice and oppression just goes to prove that Cameron absolutely hit the nail on the head.

China even made a very controversial move, one that I deeply despise, to CENSOR Avatar. No joke, there was governmental interference with Avatar showings. Theaters were forced to drop many screenings in favor of some communist documentary. Why? There was fear that Avatar's message would hit very hard among the victims of government injustice, forced evictions, and that there would be very serious and real unrest as a result.

I'll say that again. There was LEGITIMATE CONCERN that THIS FILM and its morality would inspire the oppressed to rise up in unity in defense of their natural rights.

Some way for Cameron to put forth a message not applicable to real situations in the real world.

Really, when a movie is loved by everyone and offends no one


Loved by everyone? Offends no one?

"Yeah, it was loved by everyone!" says the hater as he empties his flamethrower at Avatar. Real smart!

then you must realize it appeals to the dumbest people in our society.


That is a fallacy. There is no connection between overall success and success with the dumb. There is not even a connection between the dumb understanding it in any significant way and its success with the dumb. You could miss 90% of a film's substance and still enjoy it.

Popularity could also be explained by the film telling a desirable, and thus popular, story.


Actual picture of torukmakto4

Friday, May 20, 2011

Avatar: The New Blonde

 Well, I must say I was disappointed as a whole with the naviblue forums. Not nearly as many crazies as I was prepared for, apparently they actually have competent mods to weed out all the aspies. But still, that doesn't enitrely prevent a few gems from seeping through the cracks, like this thread titled "Have you recently had an AVATAR moment?" started by a basement dweller named SacredFern. Apparently being an avatard is no different than being a blonde; you have "moments".

An Avatar Moment might come suddenly, you walk straighter, faster, maybe break into a run, feel the sun, your senses are very much alive. Just like your Na'vi cousins. Or you are in the car, listening to the AVATAR soundtrack, and WHAM, there you are, transported into the middle of that scene (hopefully not into the bumper of the car in front of you).

Or it might be a situation where you make a total skxawng out of yourself, like me today.
I went to pick avocados this morning. Normally, I'd use a ladder, a picker and be all grown up about it, but today I took off my shoes and climbed up a tree (which are not very tall, by the way). I sat in the branches, picking those gnarly avos and putting them into a cloth sack on my side. The fog was in the air, birds were noisy, and -yes- I wore my AVATAR necklace plus my hair in a swishy braid. I just felt so alive! I started speaking the few lines of Na'vi I know from the movie out loud to myself. Awesome!
Well, my ipod funneled AVATAR track 5 into my ears, so I didn't notice that my neighbor had walked up underneath the tree. She had thought I was talking to her, and now she looked at me really funny, as in "I think you need help".

 I'm no fan of christianity, but I must say that it's good to see that friend Fern's neighbor lives by the maxim "Love thy neighbor". Let's hope this neighbor does the good christian thing and let nature take it's course; meaning letting SacredFern fall out of that tree someday and break her neck, while laughing about it.

 Still, I gotta give props to SacredFern for actually going outside. You won't see avatards doing that very often. And it's nice to see that naviblue isn't as crazy I had thought it would be; too bad they aren't as entertaining as the crazies I want to document.

 So even when avatards are winners, they're still losers.

 And what the fuck is a skxawng?

Thursday, May 19, 2011

H.P. Lovecraft just rolled over in his grave (again):

So I was browsing Big Hollywood.com's old threads about Avatar recently, where a poster named Alexander_Hamilton quoted this little gem from an avatard named "avatarfurry"(kind of a redundant username, don'tcha think?) who posts on an avatard site called naviblue:

This is Bush's fault
I'm so glad now we are on a tract to save Mother Earth and make it like PANDORA. Only after the last Repuglicant is executed can we be free. After seeing AVATAR and going home to my parents house to pleasure myself, (to ease the depression and frustration) can I relax enough to plan my AVATAR costume. I feel if we can make AVATAR not just a dream but a reality can we advance as a culture. Only if and when we embrace Na'vi ism as a recognized philosophy or dare I say it a religion, then we will all be one people like on PANDORA. Down with the evil businesses and freedom for all, power to the people and the President, who has the wisdom to spread the wealth, so those that have too much have to give it to the poor. That is what the Na'vi do!


Nga na’viru yomtìyìng!!! FOREVER! "


 
Yeah, that's just plain scary. Even on Big Hollywood, where some of the craziest political bullshit ever written gets discussed on daily basis, they had to question if it was satire. Either way, this naviblue site sounds like a goldmine for lulz.

 This blog may not have gotten any reposnses yet, but I'm sure as hell not going to have any problem finding material for it.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

this bad ass comment is rated? 0 stars.

 Ah, idiotic Youtube commenters, is there any stupid shit they won't say? For the record, I found this gem as the fifth comment on the first fucking page of comments for the film's trailer on Youtube:

 Man this bad ass movie is rated? PG-13. we are in the 80's all over again, good movies, bad ratings. I saw it at sitemoovie.co.cc and I think this is really great movie. I should be more movies like this one is.

Yes, yes you should attempt to turn into a movie, as you have obviously failed at being a human being, or at least, spelling like one. Gonna be hard turning your skin into film stock and being played on a projector, though. Once you have succeeded at metamorphosing into a movie, maybe you can hook up with James Woods.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Paying the Piper:

In 1284, the children of the town of Hamelin were led away, along with rats, by the Pied Piper. But that was just a legend. In 2009, James Cameron did the same thing, only he didn't use a flute to call away all the rats and children in the land, instead he used a shitty movie called Avatar to call away all the cretins and (man)children in the land, who were dazzled by it's original storyline , innovative special effects , well-rounded characters and mature adult storyline. I can't say for certain that rats did not enjoy the film as well, but that would be an insult to rats as they have notoriously good taste in film, with the exception of Armond White.

 'Twas not long before the cretins, gushing with many a hurr and many a durr, sought out the inter-ma-net to use as a cumrag for their constant ejaculations over the movie. Naturally, I, being a humble servant of the people who is here to make you laugh, like a clown, to fucking amuse you, have decided to archive examples of Avatar fanboy (or as I affectionately refer to them as, "avatards") stupidity, hypocrisy, immaturity, bigotry, and other "ys". Examples can be found almost anywhere, even in real life, but today's example comes from IMDb and from an avatard known as kaneishurt:

This is why if a technologically superior alien life form does attack this planet I will willfully take their side and kill as many humans as I can. After all one of the laws of nature is to adapt. Another example is how immigrants are coming over North America and taking all the jobs- Adaptability.

Honestly, I hate humans. I give to charity towards animals and environment.I will never give to cancer nor to tsunami "victims" . Even if I found a cure for cancer I won't part with it until the world bows down to me, sends every woman on the planet aged 23-27 in my bedroom and deposits 75 billion dollars in my account. Call me evil but that's my philosophy of life.

As you can see, I couldn't think of any comment better to get this blog rolling. Don't get used to the (fairly) competent spelling and grammar on display though, because as we probe deeper, we'll soon find that most avatards are not as courteous to the queen's english as friend kaneishurt. I'm gonna need a bigger blog...